


Please Could You Stay Awhile to Share My Grief

by bitt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, clone shiro - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12625737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitt/pseuds/bitt
Summary: He’s here, isn’t he? He’s back?Post season 3, prior to season 4.





	Please Could You Stay Awhile to Share My Grief

I want to love him.

I want to feel his hands in mine instead of this hole in my chest. He’s here, isn’t he? He’s back? He looks at me the same way he used to. There’s that soft warmth in his eyes, which broke my heart and patched it up a million times before. He’s here. He’s safe. We’re together.

But it’s wrong. It’s wrong in the way he touches my face, not long enough, not gentle enough. His palms are less calloused but his fingers are clumsy, his kiss feels like a parody of what it used to be. What happened?

I tell myself over and over again that I’m imagining things, but I know. I know that’s not the case. I know I’m not imagining the rough note in his voice, the doubt he has in me now. He might have questioned me before, but he always knew that I was doing my best. Now he seems to see me like I’m lesser, like my ideas are silly or stupid.

I loved him so much before, and I knew he loved me. There was never any uncertainty between us; I knew he would do anything for me, and I would do everything for him. Now I resent him, and I miss him even though he’s right here.

The first night after he came back, I went to his room to lie beside him. He let me in, he kissed me and held me, and it should have been so wonderful, so perfect to be with him again. He fell asleep, but I couldn’t. It all felt off. He was like someone trying to play Shiro, maybe a good actor but not the real thing.

I wish there was something I could pray to. I wish there was someone I could tell. The only one I ever felt close to was Shiro; he knew all my nagging worries and deepest fears. He was the first person I trusted, the only person I felt comfortable crying in front of, the only person I had ever slept with. Now he was a worry, a fear, the very thing he supported me through and protected me from.

Every time I manage to fall asleep, I jolt awake from a horrible dream that I forget immediately. I gasp for breath and he holds me, staying calm. Despite everything, he is comforting. Despite everything, I need him.

Despite everything, I want to love him.

His kisses aren’t the same, his touch isn’t the same, but his eyes have never changed. Love, respect, pride, all radiate from his gaze, and I know. I know he still loves me, still needs me.

What happened to me?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I love you! Title from Wandering Star by Portishead.


End file.
